


That got weird

by loulougoingsolo



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Pollen, Shameless Smut, tropetastictuesday4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 03:04:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loulougoingsolo/pseuds/loulougoingsolo
Summary: Rubus salabicus, or the potentberry, was formerly used as a strong aphrodisiac among the native American tribes. Now almost entirely extinct, little scientific proof is available of its efficiency. According to native tribes, the juice of this berry caused a significant increase in male potency even in small doses. The arousing effect starts about 5 hours after consumption and lasts for up to 36 hours. Known side-effects of this medicinal plant are mainly due to understimulation of male genitalia, resulting in necrosis of the reproductive organs. Recurrent release of blood pressure in the penis is sufficient to prevent any side-effects.This is my submission to the Tropetastic Tuesday 4 challenge organized by theGreyHenley on the Tumblr fandom.





	

“Man, I’m so glad we are doing this” said Link, sitting down on a cool moss covered rock, thus allowing his heavy backpack lean against the rock. Rhett sat on another rock opposite to his friend and sighed from relief when he finally got the weight off his back. “Yeah, three days with no work, no kids, no wives and no other people. We are living the dream, brother!”

They’d decided to go hiking for an extended weekend after an overly hectic week at the Mythical Entertainment. It wasn’t the first time doing this, but it had been a while since it was just the two of them. They had left their car by the road about 3 hours ago and headed up the mountain. A log cabin was waiting for them at the end of the path, but they still had about 10 miles to go. It was a beautiful, sunny day, the forest air smelled fresh and still a bit humid from all the dew of the previous night. Everything was perfect, calming and relaxing.

Rhett had insisted on them leaving all electrical devices, including phones, in their car. Link had protested at first, but the thought of absolute isolation and going of the grid had sounded so fascinating that he’d finally agreed. They had Rhett’s survival guide book safely packed in a zip-lock bag and plenty of food with them. Nothing could possibly disturb their retreat.

“You know, I read online that now is the peak season for wild mushrooms and berries, too. We should pick some!” Rhett was turning his head all over to see if there was something edible in sight.

“Are you saying you’re hungry again? We just ate an hour ago. Besides, you know nothing about mushrooms. Do you seriously suggest that we would eat them?”

“Well, ok, maybe not, but you know how much I like mushrooms! Hey wait, there’s a blackberry bush right over there!”

Rhett stepped of the path and walked to a small shrub about 20 feet away. It was filled with huge, ripe blackberries just waiting to be picked. “Link, get over here! Where’s your mug? We’ll have berries and pancakes for breakfast!”

“Alright, hang on, I’m coming!” Link lowered his backpack on the ground and grabbed his plastic mug, which was conveniently hanging from his belt. “But we really should move on, before it gets dark.”

Rhett had already picked several berries in his hands by the time Link got to the shrub. He placed the berries in the mug, except for one big berry, which he shoved straight into his friend’s mouth before Link had any time to react. “Here, try one!”

“Eww!! What the heck?” Link barely bit the berry, when he tasted a horrifyingly bitter flavour, which was nothing like what a blackberry should taste like. He instantly spit the berry out and reached for his water bottle. “I don’t know what that was, but it sure as hell was not a blackberry. I need to wash my mouth. What if they’re toxic?” Link was starting to freak out – the water didn’t seem to remove the horrible taste. Rhett watched his buddy with only slight concern. “You’ll be fine, you didn’t even swallow it. But that’s just funny, if it ain’t a blackberry, then what is it?” He tossed the remaining berries from the mug on the ground, and quickly turned his thoughts to other things. “Let’s head to the cabin, I want my supper!”

* * *

Finally, after hours of hiking, the two men arrived at the cabin. The sun was already near the horizon, and Link was relieved they made it before dark. It had taken him most of his water to get the nasty taste disappear, and he was feeling a bit sick, which in turn made him anxious. He had a tendency to imagine things, but he could have sworn he wasn’t feeling his normal self. Maybe, if he ate something, the slight nausea would go away...

“Well, at least the key fits.” Rhett was already inside the cottage by the time Link got to the door. There was no electricity, and one could barely see anything in the dim light filtered by the small dusty windows. The cabin owner had kindly stocked the place with a box of candles and a kerosene lamp, which Rhett immediately lit up.

The inside of the cabin, consisting mostly of one large room, opened before them. There was a fire place, a small kitchen with a gas stove, a table and two benches and a small sitting area with a sofa and a coffee table. Behind the sofa, there was a small bookshelf with some brochures of the area and a few books. Everything looked cosy, but a bit old-fashioned and worn. In the back corner of the room, there was a ladder leading to a loft which was intended for sleeping. Rhett looked around for a moment, placed his backpack next to the wall and stated: “Perfect! Now let’s eat!”

* * *

A few moments later the guys were seated by the kitchen table, enjoying a meal consisting of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, sticks of beef jerky and hot tea. It had been too late in the day to start fixing a proper supper, but they were perfectly happy with what they were eating. The meal went on in a casual silence, both men feeling physically tired after the long hike and spending hours in fresh mountain air. Link was feeling much better than earlier, and he slowly felt his anxiety disappear. He was now convinced he had been alarmed with no reason. After all, the berries were clearly some close relative of normal blackberry, so how could they possibly be dangerous? He sipped his tea, feeling quite warm and comfortable. “You know, Rhett, you look like you’re made of gold in this lighting”, he said with a warm smile on his face. _What, he did not just say that!_

Rhett raised his eyes from the old book he had been browsing, and gazed at Link with a look of delighted surprise on his face. “What? Are you ok, bud?” Link tried to come up with a response that would make his previous sentence appear less weird, but instead he worded, with an amazed voice: “I always wondered what Jessie sees in you, but man, I see it now. You’re like a freaking Greek god or something!” Rhett couldn’t stop himself from blushing, and feeling just a little bit flattered, but Link was being so out of character that he was starting to worry for his friend. “Link, what’s going on?”

Link looked at Rhett feeling infatuated by his best friend’s appearance. How had he not realized how beautiful and attractive this man was until now? Over three decades had they been friends, but now it was as if a vail was being lifted, and he could see clearly for the first time. Rhett was the most gorgeous creature Link had ever seen! And he was craving for a touch, he wanted to comb Rhett’s curly golden hair with his fingers, feel the tight muscles on his chest with his hands, kiss those luscious lips… _Hang on, what the crap?!_

Link had suddenly lost his appetite for the sandwich in front of him. What he wanted in his mouth was something meatier…something more like Rhett’s cock. Which made him realize just how uncomfortably hard said member was getting in his own jeans. He tried to relieve his discomfort by shifting on the bench. It didn’t help, the friction only made things worse. If he didn’t do something about his hard-on, and do it quickly, he would ruin a perfectly good pair of hiking trousers. The situation required extreme measures.

* * *

Rhett watched with confusion how Link was fidgeting on his bench. Droplets of sweat were running on his friend’s forehead, and it appeared as if his glasses were getting foggy. The most concerning thing was, Link had been staring at him for a while now, and the look on his face could only be described as thirsty.

Rhett was just about to repeat his question to Link, when he was forced to witness the strangest thing he’d ever seen his friend do. Ok, forced might be too strong an expression, but Rhett was unable to turn his eyes from the sight, so forced wasn’t all wrong. But back to Link…

…He couldn’t take it any longer. Link’s penis was about to erupt with a mighty force, it just needed that last little bit of assistance. He stood up, opened his fly and with a loud grunt, pulled his rock-hard cock out of his pants. The touch of his own hand was all it took. Colourful lights were flashing in his eyes, and the unbearable pleasure took him over when he reached his climax.

Rhett’s jaw dropped when he saw his best friend suddenly pull his penis out and start jerking off in front of him. It couldn’t have been more than few seconds, when he saw Link ejaculate all over their unfinished meal. The situation was so surreal and bizarre that Rhett didn’t even get turned on by it, even when seeing Link in his birth suit usually had that effect on him. This was just too weird to be real.

“For fuck’s sake, Link! What the hell?! Have you lost your mind, man?” Rhett also stood up, feeling relieved by the fact that Link’s cum had just missed him and landed on his half-eaten sandwich instead. Link was leaning over the table at this point, breathing heavily, also shocked by his lack of self-control. His now soft penis was hanging freely over his trousers, and he felt exhausted. “Oh god, oh gosh, Rhett. I don’t know what came over me, I just…you were so…I’m sorry, man!”

“I guess it could happen to the best of us. But I gotta say, this is by far the strangest thing you’ve ever done. Just, um, cover yourself and zip up, man. I don’t need to see that thing for a bit, ok?” Rhett raised his eyebrows and nodded at Link’s crotch.

Link felt mortified by the situation, and quickly turned away, trying to tuck in as fast as possible. He had looked forward to spending a relaxing weekend with his best friend, but this was not how he had envisioned things to develop. They’d been flirting heavily on camera for months now, and Link had noticed the looks Rhett had been giving him when he wasn’t looking. Those looks had tantalized Link, and he wanted more. He had constructed this detailed plan for seducing Rhett over this mini-vacation, including a bottle of fancy wine that he had carried in his backpack for miles. And now any chance of romance had been ruined. Just because he got carried away by Rhett’s beautiful looks and stunning body, and couldn’t control himself. He wasn’t a teen anymore, he should have been able to withhold himself better. But Rhett looked so lovely in this soft light…

“Link! If you are going to keep doing that, I’m going to ask you to at least go somewhere out of sight. Seriously, man, that’s too much for even a best friend!” Rhett’s annoyed voice managed to enter Link’s brain. Had he been calling for long? And what was he talking about?... _Oh!_

Somehow, while Link had been supposed to put his penis back into his pants, he had lost track. Rhett had just started to feel strong enough to clean the table, when he had realized Link had started to stroke himself again. Sure, he was well-endowed, and in any other circumstances it would have been a dream come true to see Link enjoy himself, but Rhett was slowly starting to feel annoyed. Now, that he was over the initial shock, he maybe felt a little turned on, but still, this was way over the top.

“Rhett, seriously, I don’t know what is happening. It’s as if I can’t control my thoughts or my dick anymore. What if I have some weird brain tumor or something?” Link was freaking out again. His dong was standing erect in all its glory between them, and refused to take any commands from the man. He had dropped his hands to his sides after realizing what he was doing, and he was panicking, but there the darn thing still was, waving at him, asking to be caressed. Preferably by Rhett. But not just yet, this was far too soon to come again.

“I’m sure it’s not a brain tumor, Link. Maybe it’s some odd version of male menopause or something. You are approaching forty, I guess it could be possible?” The thought made Rhett smile. The whole situation was actually hilarious. “Rhett, stop smiling! This isn’t funny, you gotta help me stop this!” Link shook his pelvis to make a point, but the stream of air caused by the motion only made things worse.

Rhett had a mischievous look on his face. He approached Link, making a decision in his mind. “Ok, Link, I’ll help you. If this is how things are now, I might as well get some fun out of all this.” He grabbed the erect penis with his hand, looked at Link straight into his blue eyes and gave him a wicked smile. For a second he saw a look of panic flash in Link’s eyes, followed by an immediate look of ultimate pleasure, when his thumb carefully caressed the throbbing member in his hand. Link’s eyes turned dark and he gulped for air as the new sensations passed his mind. He grabbed Rhett by the shoulders, raised his head towards the ceiling and came violently, growling, in Rhett’s hand. Rhett, now fully hard himself, pressed his lips on Link’s bouncing adam’s apple and kissed his exposed neck while inhaling the strong scent of Link’s heated body.

* * *

Link felt weak in the knees. Rhett had assisted him to the sitting area, and was now starting a fire in the fireplace – something they should have done as soon as they arrived, but things had taken a weird turn. Despite all the passion and heat between them, the room was getting chilly. The second climax had calmed Link just enough to be able to think straight _(no, that was hardly the right choice of word at this point)_ for a while. He looked around the room, avoiding to look at his friend in fear of getting aroused again. Seeing the small bookcase nearby, he settled his eyes on the titles. _Day hikes in the Santa Monica mountains, Foraging the Mountain West…no, that’s about edible plants…Sacred Plant Medicine: The Wisdom in Native American Herbalism…a map of the area…Fire Skills - 50 Methods for Starting Fires Without Matches…Rhett might need that right now…Wait a minute!!_

“Hey, Rhett! What if all this has something to do with that blackberry?!” Link reached for the book about sacred plants, and started to browse it, feeling both afraid and excited at the same time. Maybe, just maybe, there was a cure! Maybe it wasn’t a brain tumor or menopause after all!

“Oh my god, I found it!” Link had opened the book on a page showing pictures of different species of the Rubus family. After a picture of the common blackberry, there was a picture of another species, Rubus salacibus. “Listen to this! _‘ **Rubus salabicus** , or the potentberry, was formerly used as a strong aphrodisiac among the native American tribes. Now almost entirely extinct, little scientific proof is available of its efficiency. According to native tribes, the juice of this berry caused a significant increase in male potency even in small doses. The arousing effect starts about 5 hours after consumption and lasts for up to 36 hours. Known side-effects of this medicinal plant are mainly due to understimulation of male genitalia, resulting in necrosis of the reproductive organs. Recurrent release of blood pressure in the penis is sufficient to prevent any side-effects.’_ Shit, my dick is going to fall off!”

Link was stripping his pants in a complete state of panic. As far as he knew, the only way to stop his dick from turning purple was to ejaculate as often as he possibly could. He liked his penis, he was very fond of it, there was no way he was losing it because of some berry in the mountains! Tears were starting to flow from his eyes as he jacked off frantically, desperate not to lose his favourite body part.

“Link, hey, take it easy! I’m your best friend, and I sure as hell am not going to let any part of you fall off. Especially not this part. I’ll help you get through this, and once all this is over, you’re gonna return the favour. If we’re lucky, we might just have enough time to cork that bottle of wine you’ve been carrying around. But right now, there’s something else I want to cork.”

Rhett kneeled in front of Link. Gently, finger by finger, Rhett opened Link’s hands holding the erect penis. He moved his own hands on each side of Link’s tiny waist, feeling the smooth skin under his shirt. He placed his mouth around Link, tasting his musky flavour for the first time. Relaxing his jaw muscles, he took Link deeper and deeper, until all of Link’s cock was in his mouth. As he started to move up and down, up and down, he felt Link’s hands grasp his shoulders. For now, all the pleasure he needed, was hearing the man he loved gasp and moan above his head.

Link loved Rhett. He loved the sensation of Rhett’s beard against his crotch, the sensation of Rhett’s mouth around him. Rhett wasn’t going to let him lose his dick, and Link could hardly wait for a chance to return the favour. This was turning out to be a fine weekend after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes it would be the wisest thing not to try be rational when something can not be reasoned. This was one of those times. I tried to give a rational explanation to something that was, to be honest, the craziest of situations, and ended up writing full 3000 words of this weirdness. This was a very enjoyable challenge, especially since this is not necessarily the easiest trope for me to follow. Thank you, TheGreyHenley, for challenging us again!
> 
> I hope you were able to enjoy this as much as I loved writing it! I'd love to hear your comments!


End file.
